Thursday, July 23, 2020

Digital Anxieties A Conversation with Bo Burnham and Jonny Sun

Digital Anxieties A Conversation with Bo Burnham and Jonny Sun I have so many things and so little space, but Ill try my best to communicate it. I just walked out of an event called Digital Anxieties: A Conversation with Bo Burnham and Jonny Sun and I shit you not when I say its probably one of the most influential and life-changing talks Ive ever sat on. As a long-time fan of Bo Burnham, it was absolutely surreal to see him in person. I dont remember exactly how I stumbled upon him, but I just have strong memories of 7th-grade-Cami curling up on the couch, watching what. for the fifth time in a row. By that point, I had already memorized all the bits and just recited them along. There was something about the crassness of his jokes, paired with his funny, charming, awkward and, most important of all, genuine stage presence that immediately hooked me. I continued to follow all of his stuff after that. I was a bit too shy to go up after the talk to say hi, and Im sure a small part of myself will always regret that, but regardless, the feeling is still the same. I am utterly in awe of everything he does. When I read Jonny Suns name, nothing quite clicked immediately. After a quick Google search, I was almost vibrating with anticipation for the event, to hear everything he had to say. Jonny is a PhD candidate at MIT and a writer for Bojack Horseman. Bojack Horseman quite literally changed my life. I was in a really dark place when I found the show and I binged what was available on Netflix (seasons 1-4, at the time of my discovery) in about 3 weeks. It made me laugh, made me cry, made me stare at the ceiling at 3am and question my sense of self as a whole, question what impact I wanted to leave on the world. In short: it played a large role in who I am today, and its very bittersweet to see it in its final season. I also was too shy to go up to say hi to Jonny and also really needed to pee and by the time I got back the movie had already started. Sorry, Jonny. Essentially, the entire talk was just a weird nostalgia trip for me. Im even surprised Im managing to type this right now because it still doesnt feel  real. But, luckily, I was able to jot down some notes of things discussed and said. We had the amazing privilege to submit questions that they could directly answer and discuss, and though my questions werent asked, I wrote down some of the questions and answers that really resonated with me and provided a lot of guidance. Im just gonna list these nuggets of wisdom because I think its stuff that everyone needs to hear. Please note a lot of this is paraphrased, seeing as inner seventh grade Cami was just sobbing uncontrollably and couldnt focus on typing down coherent and cohesive notes. They are also just  snippets of their responses and arent everything that they said. What do you think it truly means to matter? Bo: You might not matterI got to matter in the spectacular way I wanted to and it wasnt fulfilling. Jonny: I think a while ago I tweeted something like “the truth is we all achieve greatness. the only difference is the size of our audiences This question got a lot of chuckles, especially after the whole you might not matter part and it was strongly reminiscent of that one cheesy scene in The Fault in Our Stars, where Augustus Waters greatest fear is not being remembered and then Hazel Grace shits all over that and says that everyones going to forget him because in the grand scheme of things hes nothing and hes a no one. So it doesnt matter if he doesnt matter to everyone because whats important is that he matters to the people that count. And essentially, that was the Jonnys conclusion, where at the end of the day all those cliches are, in Bos words, like diamonds deeply true, true things that have formed from being so true for so long. Cliches like Live, laugh, love! or Family first! thatve become so trite to us  do  hold truth. And while maybe we wont matter to everyone, what matters is that we matter to the people we matter.01 Can we just appreciate how many matters are in this sentence? Bo: Young people live in a post-narrative dissociative worldby the time you get to your first kiss, youve watched so many first kisses in movies that you think This is that part of the movie and it didnt feel like that at all. The movie of my life sucks. And we all just want to be watchable. Were nostalgic for moments that havent even happened yet. Youre not a picture of yourself. Your life is not a movie. I think this topic was talked about for a while and it was something that hit me really,  really hard, because Ive been living my life for this so long. Even now, getting to college, when were sitting at an iHop at 2 in the morning I think to myself, Wow, this is like in those teen movies when and Im living my life in hopes that itll be a movie instead of actually living my life like its  mine. Is there any relief from imposter syndrome?/Do you think its good to talk about mental illness openly?/How do you personally take care of yourself?/What self-care things do you do to calm your anxiety? Bo: We grow up believing two things Everyone goes through this at some point and Im the only one going through this so we dont say anything. But I think theres also an arrogant part of ourselves that dont want to talk about what were going through cause we think to ourselves like I struggle with this cause I got a g a l a x y brain and then you just go like Oh, I just needed to drink more water. Jonny: Yeah, I think we get into this mindset of Im suffering so I must be doing something  right. The galaxy brain quote? Guilty. Abso-f*cking-lutely guilty of that shit. Ive internalized a lot of my struggles because I somehow came to the idea that my struggles were the only parts of my identity that made me unique and special. Hearing this finally said out loud was like a punch to the gut since its something I do  so much.  Even now I tell myself that its okay that I suffered so much in high school because it got me to MIT. And its okay if I suffer at my time during MIT because it means bigger and better things are coming. And while theres a slight truth to the idea that with struggle comes success, the story of our lives shouldnt solely be a story of struggle. We need to treat ourselves, to take care of ourselves, to realize that suffering does not directly equate to progress. Whats your biggest fear? Mine is bears. Bo: Probably my dog dying. Audience: (awwing) Jonny: Probably my fiance dying. Audience: (MORE INTENSE AWWING) Bo: Hes got a PhD, hes got a fiance, and what do I got? A f*cking dog. There were definitely more quotable moments, but I just didnt get the chance to catch them. I would really like to thank Jonny and Bo, as well as MHH and MIT Commforum for coming out and putting on the event. Of course, it didnt just end there, though. Eighth Grade This is, I guess, my sort of reaction to Bos Eighth Grade and why this movie will stick with me forever. The movie somehow accurately portrays what its like to grow up as a middle schooler or even high schooler in this weird, weird age of social media teachers trying to awkwardly #relate with those LITTY teens dab on em, instastalking your crush of yours and trying so hard to not accidentally like that photo from 5 years ago, snapping for thirty minutes trying to get that perfect filter angle. But also it was able to capture just how difficult it is to fit in. I related with Kayla (our main character)  so. f*cking. much. I was the girl in middle school that got pity invites to pool parties and just awkwardly stood off to the side praying for human interaction. I was the girl that did an excited little happy dance whenever someone invited me to hang out with them. I was the girl that thought high school would be so drastically different and that Id finally get the chance to reinvent myself. It was like an almost out-of-body experience watching the movie because it felt like I was watching myself. And I guess this brings us back to that post-narrative lifestyle that Bo was talking about, but the reverse instead. This movie does not give us a reflection of what our life should be, but instead, what our life actually was and is. It is not an expectation, but the reality. And it normalizes that reality. I could go on and on about Eighth Grade forever, but I should probably leave some unsaid so you can form some opinions on your own. IN CONCLUSION Ive been having a pretty rough week, having gotten a D on my first ever MIT test, my 18.01A midterm, and its kind of been taking a toll on my confidence in being here and belonging here. But this talk managed to turn that all around. It basically came in my time of need and Im very grateful to have had the opportunity to listen to all the nuggets of wisdom Jonny and Bo offered unto us. It also really inspired me to get more in touch with my creative side, making me not only write this blogpost so I dont ever forget this night, but just write and read more. In fact, Im going to buy Jonnys book right now ;) shameless plug and also probably rewatch what. and make happy and just think about Eighth Grade. I recommend you do the same. back to text ?

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